How to Be a More Positive Person

What kind of person do you want to be, gorgeous?

Are you someone who looks for a reason not to do something… or are you the kind of woman who lives a life of yes? I’ve always said that you decide exactly how enjoyable your love relationship is. It really is up to you, babe.

If you want your partner to shower a bounty of affection on you not only on Valentine’s Day or get your partner high voltage motivated – begging on his knees to take out the garbage – that’s great! You just need to use the finesse of my methods. These have been successfully tested for decades for how to be a more positive person in your life and your romance.

The same is true for your entire life, lovely. Maybe you’re seeking for achievement, reaching out for the stars and being your absolute best. Or maybe you’re defined by obligations, avoiding danger and mistakes and just trying to be the person others can count on. Psychologists usually assign those two attitudes to optimists and pessimists.

When you get your mind right – when you choose thoughts that are smart and empowering to you – that’s when you start to shape your love relationship and life in unimaginable ways. It’s magic.

That’s when you start to shift feelings from “boo!” to “ahhh!” – more than you’ve ever thought possible.

Scientific research shows us some amazing things:

• Optimists are healthier and live longer (who doesn’t want that?)
• Individual positivity affects the proposed length of a relationship
• Students’ levels of positivity corresponds with their salaries years later

It’s not that optimism is “good” and pessimism is “bad.” It’s about how they make you feel.

David Armor, an assistant professor of psychology at Yale states: “Optimism and pessimism bring feelings along with them, and those feelings push us into action more forcefully than any rational prediction could.”

Therefore, positivity can have a self-fulfilling aspect. It becomes your reality. When you’re engaged in an optimistic mindset, you believe that things will work out – you just need to figure out how. That’s why optimistic women are so constructive in resolving conflicts, unlike their pessimistic peers. They own a feeling of being in control. It’s about acknowledging your personal contribution to a problem, not looking for a scapegoat and persistently working on winning ways.

I’m curious, ladies – have you noticed how your mood shifts when you decide to take control rather than blaming others? It’s a game changer, isn’t it? Let me know in the comments if you’ve felt this power!

Sure, when we are young we might be more likely to be an optimist and when we get older we become more “realist” (which is just a nicer word for pessimist, let’s be honest). You and I go to the dentist to have a charming smile. We buy new outfits to look better. Yet, we don’t spend even one hour to learn to reverse the aging processes of our minds that shape our entire lives.

But when you learn how to train your mind for your purposes and actively rewrite the invisible script in your head… then your relationship and life can shift drastically far beyond the horizon of your best imagination.

Here are three strategies on how to be a more positive person.

1. Fake it till you make it.

This approach can impact your emotions surprisingly strong and immediate. It sounds silly, but it works! For example, scientists asked students to act like extroverts for 15 minutes in a group discussion, even if they didn’t feel like it. The more assertive and energetic the students acted, the happier they were. The best aspect of this kind of behavioral change is that it doesn’t require much faith; you’re going to reap the benefits of a positive mindset anyway.

2. Focus on optimistic friends.

Start “slipstreaming” on your cheery friends’ optimism. Surround yourself with light, babe! It’s not that a rosy worldview is contagious like a flu; it’s just that you’ll feel more positive about your relationship and life when you are around it. Being together with an optimistic person enhances your well being by an average of 15%. That is huge.

3. Change your inner voice

Optimists and pessimists apply a different “explanatory” style. When things go wrong, optimists believe that this has little to do with them personally. Also, they perceive it as one-time problems that will pass quickly. For example, a pessimist who fails to represent his position successfully says, “I’m lousy at communication”; an optimist says, “My opponent has killer arguments.” See the difference?

Finally, let me ask you this provocatively… would you rather be in a relationship with someone who has a cheerful outlook, who is not afraid of challenges? Or would you prefer to be married to someone with no positive outlook, just getting by, moaning a lot and having a negative talk?

I think we both know the answer to that one.