A Simple Thing You Can Do Daily to Build Better Relationships

Do any of the following sound familiar?

• You see the cute guy in line ahead of you at the coffee shop and shut down because you’re afraid.
• You wind up in an elevator with the woman who could flip the switch on your career and you bury your head in your cell phone.
• You finally got the email hookup of the HR lady at the company of your dreams and you don’t email.

Whether you’re looking to form stronger relationships in business or in your personal life, the key to creating and sustaining any kind of relationship is anchoring yourself in a state of gratitude. It can seem a bit simplistic to say “Just be grateful! Focus on all of the good things in your life and you’ll attract good things back to you,” but it’s actually quite true.

Think about the last time you were in a bad mood. Maybe you’d had a bad day at work and got caught in a huge traffic jam on your way home, or you got in a fight with your boyfriend. Did you feel more open to others? Or did you feel more closed off and shut down?

Chances are, in these situations, you felt shut down and closed off to life. That’s because you were solely focused on what had gone wrong. When you focus on what’s wrong, you naturally close yourself off to others. I’m betting you were also not the most fun person to be around.

Now think about a time when you were full of gratitude for your life. Maybe you’d just fallen in love or had gotten a promotion or heard that a family member had beaten cancer. Did you feel more open to others? Or did you feel more closed off and shut down?

I’m betting you felt more open — because whether you realized it consciously or not — you had shifted into a massive state of gratitude for the present moment. This happened because had your sole focus on what had gone right. I bet you were also really easy and fun to be around.

When you’re in that state, you become more open, more lit up, more connected, more radiant and quite frankly, more attractive. Who wouldn’t want to connect and build a relationship with a person like that? And when you’re in the gratitude state, don’t you naturally want to talk to the guy, spark the conversation in the elevator or email the HR lady? Yes, girl. Of course you do.

So how do we get in and maintain this state of gratitude when we’re walking through our lives? My go-to tool for gratitude is Pro EFT Tapping.

Tapping is a mind-body tool that connects both your head and your heart to help you change your state in any moment.

You literally use a light tapping sensation on specific points on your body (that correspond with acupuncture and accupressure points) to stimulate the energy in the body while saying very specific words and phrases related to what you’re working on.

Here are the tapping points:

For the sake of this article, I’ve provided a “gratitude tapping script” to help you maintain and anchor in a feeling of gratitude. All you need to do is tap on each point about 5-7 times while saying each phrase out loud. Please note this particular script is solely intended to solidify the feeling of gratitude when you’re already in a state of feeling good.

Here are the abbreviations I use in the script:

EB: Eyebrow Point
OE: Outside of the Eye
UE: Under the Eye
UN: Under the Nose
Chin: Chin Point
CB: Collarbone Point
UA: Under the Arm
Liver: Liver Point
Wrist: Wrist Point
TH: Top of the Head
Let’s tap!
EB: I am open and receptive
OE: The more I stay open, the more miracles I experience
UE: I follow the flow of my life
UN: I am grateful for all of my blessings
Chin: The big ones
CB: And the small ones
UA: I am open to meeting new people
Liver: Even when I’m nervous
Wrist: I am open to new opportunites
TH: Even when I least expect them
EB: The more I tap
OE: The easier it becomes to remain in a state of openness and receptivity
UE: I let go of any fear
UN: From every cell of my body
Chin: I welcome in new opportunities
CB: And new people
UA: From all directions
Liver: All walks of life
Wrist: All ages
TH: Into my life
EB: I never know who’s going to change my life
OE: My only job is feel good
UE: And welcome new relationships with a grateful heart
UN: Whether professional or personal
Chin: I remain alert and aware of new healthy potential partnerships
CB: I am always supported and guided to who to talk to
UA: I trust that life will lead me
Liver: And I keep myself open and in a state of gratitude
Wrist: The more gratitude I feel
TH: The easier it becomes! I’m so grateful. I’m so thankful.

Take a deep breath and repeat as necessary!

Feel free to print this out and keep it in your wallet for those times when you want to anchor in the feeling of gratitude.