Born Free to Follow Your Heart: A Love Letter to 13-Year-Old You
Contents
“Born free, as free as the wind blows
As free as the grass grows
Born free to follow your heart.”
(lyrics to the ‘Born Free’ theme tune)
Hello lovely ladies,
Did you ever read the book ‘Born Free’ by Joy Adamson? It tells the beautiful story of Elsa, a deeply loved orphan lion cub who was raised in captivity and then released back into the wild. Oh, how I loved Elsa. I loved how she was loved. Looking back now, I realise that what I truly adored was the deep respect that Elsa’s adoptive human parents had for her birthright. There was never any question – not for a second – that she would be returned to her natural wild habitat where, hopefully, she would come into her own as a glorious lioness.
I was thinking about Elsa earlier this week as I spent time with my thirteen-year-old daughter. We were getting her school uniform ready for the new year. She’s about to enter Year 9, which is seen as such a big deal here in the UK because it’s the year students ‘choose their options’ for the courses they want to study towards their final exams.
To help them make this decision, they have interviews with career counselors and even do this computer program that asks a myriad of questions about their interests. After that, the program pops up two or three ‘suitable’ jobs. Just like that.
Is the System Serving Our Souls?
My daughter is excited, feeling like she is one step closer to adulthood. I, however, feel a bit sad. As someone who spends my life imploring people to listen to their wildest imaginations to live their life at their highest creative and spiritual potential, I am filled with sorrow by this whole ‘choosing your options’ treadmill.
It feels like a system that shuts our children down at an age when we should be encouraging them to explore all of who they are – not just academically but also spiritually and creatively. Dont you agree?
We Want to Hear From You!
How do you handle the pressure schools put on your kids? Share your story in the comments below – your experience might help another woman navigate this tricky time. Let’s support each other, ladies!
How far removed is this system for our young from Elsa’s story? Right from the beginning, she was always being prepared for life in the wild. In her natural habitat. She was always being prepared for freedom.
A Love Letter Instead of a Lecture
I pondered this whilst watching my rapidly growing daughter hanging out with her friends. They were permanently attached to their mobiles, snap chatting and ‘instagramming’ galore. I decided to do what I always do when I want to speak my truth to her truth. I speak about it.
Sometimes I do this face to face or, more accurately, heart to heart. Sometimes over dinner or just as she’s falling asleep. But other times, friend, I write her a love letter.
This day I chose the latter. My hope is that as she reads it, some sacred knowing will stir within her. I want her to know that the treadmill she is about to embark upon is not the be all and end all. I wanted to plant a seed that helps her see there is more out there – and within her – than she can possibly imagine. Certainly more than any computer program can ascertain.
So I wrote her the following ‘Love Letter to Her Soul’ which I choose to share with you, friend, because I think it’s a letter we should all receive once in a while.
Reconnecting with Your Inner Teenager
Of course, we are no longer thirteen. But somewhere within us, our thirteen-year-old self still lurks, hiding behind the facade of our supposed mature, competent adult self. Do you remember what you were like aged thirteen?
As I re-read the letter I wrote my daughter, I realized how amazing it would have been to receive a similar letter at that age. So, as you read this, I encourage you to reflect upon yourself at thirteen. How does she show up in your life today? She will be there, influencing many aspects of your life.
I also invite you to write her a letter. A Love Letter to the Teenager Within.
What would that look like? How would it feel?
What would you say to her to set her free, to release her back into her own natural, wild and raw habitat where she knew that she had the freedom to soar to her highest and most nourishing potential?
I’m fairly certain she will appreciate it, and I’m also pretty sure that something wonderful will shift for you in your life today as a result. I hope you enjoy reading this letter to my daughter but, even more, I hope you take some time to write your own.
May she be blessed with the knowledge that she is free to become all of who she was meant to be. May she remember:
“You’re free as the roaring tide
So there’s no need to hide.”
So, without further ado, here is my love letter from my soul to my daughter’s. In the end, I share with you how she received it!
My dear, beautiful daughter,
Always take time to listen to your deepest self. That part of you that knows who, what and how is exactly right for you.
Always listen to and honor that part of you. Not to what society tells you, or those peers who don’t really know or love you. Not to those teachers who have been trained to take you down one fixed system or way of being. Nor to what the TV tells you or a pop star suggests. Or even me, your mother. I know you well, friend. But I don’t know you perfectly. Only you know that. However, because I love you passionately, I love you enough to let you be you and to celebrate this.
I have tried, since the moment you were born, to encourage you to listen to your body, to your inner wisdom. It knows. Your body is so very wise and it truely knows all the right answers for your life.
Now, more than ever, as you enter further into your teenage years, when the pressure to ‘be like others’ is greater than it will ever be, I implore you to stay true to your own precious self. I urge you to remember that you, just like all your friends, are unique. Special. You have a divinely precious purpose in this life.
Your job is to discover what that gift is. What was the gift that you were born to bring into this world? And then to honour that gift, come what may. You will get some things ‘wrong’. I’m sure there will be ‘failures’ and losses along the way but relax into these as they are the compass that will lead you back to where you truly belong, doing the thing you should truly be doing. Living the life that you were born to love, celebrating the happiness you were born to receive.
Many people become old before they even realize they were born with the right to be free to follow their heart and soul, born to blossom into the full potential of who they always have been but just didn’t know how to see. Born looking into mirrors that did not fully reflect their own beauty to them.
Well, I am holding up a mirror to you today to say this:
You are beautiful.
Your soul is pure and precious.
Your body is a treasure to be honoured as if it were the finest crystal shimmering in the sun, radiating glorious rainbows from each facet engraved upon it.
Do not let any-one, any thing, any system, any society tell you that you are anything other than free to be the divine genius that lies at the heart of your soul.
Relax my sweet child and know that you are precious and free. To be you in all your glory.
Never be afraid to listen to your heart and your body to follow your own passionately joyful road in life. Where you will feel, and be, free.
I love you.
Mum.
Xx
The Reaction (Real Talk!)
Later that day, I asked if she had read it.
She looked at me with pubescent neutrality, replying:
“Yeah,” before plugging her earphones back in and closing her bedroom door in my face! I smiled to myself, noting her adolescent nonchalance whilst knowing, from the look in her eye, that she had ‘heard’ my wish for her and on some level ‘got it’.
My hope for you, lovely, and your inner thirteen year old, is that she too ‘gets it’. That she is reminded that she was:
born free to follow her heart.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I help my teenager choose the right school options?
It's important to balance academic advice with their personal passions. Encourage them to listen to their intuition and interests, rather than just what a computer program suggests. Remind them that their choices now don't define their entire worth or future.
Why is inner child work important for adults?
Connecting with your inner child (or inner teenager) helps heal past wounds and limits we placed on ourselves long ago. By writing a love letter to that younger version of yourself, you can release old patterns and reclaim your natural freedom and creativity.
What should I include in a love letter to my daughter?
Focus on her unique spirit, not just her achievements. Remind her to trust her gut, that she is beautiful inside and out, and that failure is just a compass pointing her back to her true path. Most importantly, let her know she is free to be herself.
