Dating Protocol: “To Say or Not To Say?”

Getting to know a potential partner is a journey, lovely!

Let’s be real for a second, ladies. Getting to know someone and trying to see if they’d be a good fit is an exhausting process sometimes. You have to be a little sly and vague, maintaining that inviting and friendly disposition that allows the other person to feel comfortable enough to converse about deeper topics – way beyond the small, casual talk.

Self-disclosure is a long process that requires patience, but it is absolutely essential for the natural process of building a relationship that lasts.

Have you ever felt like you shared too much too soon? Or maybe you clammed up when you should have opened up? We’ve all been there, lady. It’s a delicate dance, but you got this.

Here are some tips that will help you with the “self-disclosure” process…

Think first, friend:

Before you speak, take a quick pause. Determine if what you are about to say is appropriate and won’t turn off your date. For instance, try not to blurt out the first random thing that pops into your pretty head, as it could come off as blunt or harsh. Also, if you have a massive secret – like, say, a prison record or something wild – it’s best to save that detail for later. You don’t want to scare off your date right now!

Secure them first, lady. Let them see how much of a good person you’ve become and gradually reveal more personal details about yourself later on. It’s about building trust first.

We want to know – what’s the funniest thing you’ve accidentally blurted out on a first date? Drop a comment below and let’s laugh about it together!

Take it slowly:

There is no fire, so why run? Issues like how many children you’d like to have and marriage plans should be addressed after getting to know them better. These topics should be introduced at a future time when it is actually suitable. Of course, initiating such heavy topics feels awkward becuase you don’t know when to exactly calculate the right timing.

Regardless, taking things slowly is the best piece of advice that you need to really focus on. If you rush, you might come across as desperate to your date, and we know you are a prize that doesn’t need to beg for attention!

Calm yourself, darling:

Many people tend to become extremely anxious when they are on a date. This is natural by all means since you want to be looked at in a good light! But, if you show intense physical signs of anxiousness, your date will catch on and might mistake it for you being overly enthusiastic or intense.

Be aware of it subconsciously. Try to occasionally check up on yourself to see if you’re exuding any indication of nervousness, and remember to relax. If you visibly seem to be really nervous, your date might even remark on that (awkward!). Stay focused, try your best to remain calm throughout the date and always remember – your date is probabaly feeling the exact same way!

Be yourself!:

It may be a bit cliche to say, “be yourself,” but it’s the truth, friend. When we’re nervous in front of another person, it’s usually because we want to appease them and appeal to their standards. So, we form another personality to adjust to their preferences. Don’t do that!

Keep things light and casual for a while, until you find that it’s time to talk about more personal things regarding your relationship. If you use self-disclosure correctly, your efforts will be fruitful and reflected in your relationship. You are amazing just as you are.

Don’t rush:

Take your time, lovely. You have all the time in the world, so don’t try to rush things, or you can turn your date off completely. More importantly, you want to find someone who aligns with your values and standards, so don’t rush it through fear-based thinking.

Make sure to review and go back to basics when dating. Learn how to master the art of making a brilliant first impression to your partner, and you’ll find it easier to delve into deeper topics with your date naturally.