Friendship Breakups: How to Heal and Move on

Validate Your Feelings, Friend

Naturally, the end of a friendship provokes a whirlwind of emotions like confusion, anger, and sadness. Before you can truly move on after a friendship ends, you need time to process the situation. Just like romantic breakups, friendship breakups can be messy and complicated. You might be sitting there wondering where everything went wrong and what you could have done to change things.

Sorting out your emotions is the first step to healing. Also, remember that it’s okay to grieve the loss of a friendship. While it might seem silly to mourn the loss of a friend, grieving is often an effective way to move past a difficult breakup. Don’t let anyone tell you “it’s just a friend” – your feelings are valid.

Don’t Play the Blame Game

It is so easy to blame others for a failed friendship. Maybe you feel that your ex-friend didn’t communicate well enough or was not fully honest with you. But listen, friend – no matter how things went down, avoid playing the blame game. It rarely helps.

Try to look at the situation from an objective third party perspective and see how each side may have played a part in the friendship’s demise. Maintaining anger, blame, or resentment can make you feel trapped in a failed relationship and prevent you from moving on. Have you ever noticed that holding a grudge feels heavier than letting it go?

Take Time for Yourself

After a friendship ends, some people set out to find a new friend right away to fill the void. While building new friendships is healthy for your well-being, don’t be in a hurry to make new friends just yet. Instead, spend a little “me” time getting to know yourself and what you really want in a friend.

You may also want to focus on your personal needs before focusing on someone else’s. Maybe you’ve put your goals on the backburner, such as losing 20 lbs or working towards being debt free. Take this time to plan and work towards your goals so that you can later enter a new friendship feeling happy and confident. What is one goal you’ve been neglecting lately? Let us know in the comments, we’d love to cheer you on!

Write a Goodbye Letter

Sometimes writing down your feelings is easier than saying them out loud. Sit down in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed with a cup of tea or wine. Write a goodbye letter to your friend, saying all the things you didn’t get to say in person.

Express how you feel about the friendship ending and the problems along the way that led to the ultimate breakup. Don’t worry – you can be completely honest, as your friend will never read the letter. Once you have let it all out on paper, shred or burn the letter. Disposing of the letter should symbolize letting go of the friendship for good. It sounds dramatic, but it really works, ladies.

Don’t Wait for an Apology

If your friendship ended because the person treated you bad, was dishonest, or betrayed you in some way, you may feel that you are owed an apology. While this may be true, don’t wait around for an “I’m sorry,” as it likely won’t come.

Waiting for an admission of fault only delays the end of the friendship, leaving you to stew in your bitterness in the meantime. If the apology never comes, you’ll likely be more hurt than you were before. Be the bigger person and move on from the situation – apology or no apology. You deserve peace more than you need their validation.

Find Support Elsewhere

The end of a friendship can leave you feeling down or even depressed. Please don’t go through it alone, friend. Find support and understanding from other sources. Reach out to family members or other friends who will help remind you what being a true friend is all about.

If you don’t have anyone close to you to turn to right now, seek help from a life coach or therapist. These trained professionals have experience dealing with friendship breakups and can usually help you to heal and move on. There is no shame in asking for help.

Cut All Communication

Keeping someone in your life that clearly does not want to be there only prolongs the hurt. After a friendship has ended, do your best to cut that person from your life completely. While there’s no need to be rude or disrespectful if you cross paths, you do not need to go out of your way to say hello or chit-chat.

Remember that keeping a line of communication open will likely only lead to more pain, especially if you or your friend decides to lash out. Delete the person from your phone and social media accounts, essentially eliminating them from your life. It might feel harsh, but protecting your energy is priority number one.

Know That You’re Better Off

While losing a good friend hurts, consider the possibility that you’re better off. While some friendships end due to distance or lack of common interests as you grow older, others may end due to dishonesty or negativity. If it’s the latter, you’re usually better off without that person in your life.

Consider how the relationship has impacted your life thus far and how separating yourself from the negativity will benefit you in the long run. Not everyone gets along with certain personalities and that’s okay. It’s important to face that it’s not going to work out and move on.

Reflect on What You’ve Learned

Instead of looking at the lost friendship as a negative thing in your life, consider it a learning experience. Reflect on what you have learned from the friendship ending and what you can do differently in the future to avoid similar problems. Use the situation to grow and become a better person and friend.

Friendship breakups can be confusing and painful. Fortunately, there are ways to move on from a failed friendship without carrying the hurt and pain with you. If needed, take some time to grieve the end of the relationship, but also celebrate new beginnings.

Coping with the loss of a good friend can be a challenge, but the experience will ultimately make you stronger. You got this, friend!

We would love to hear your thoughts! Have you learned a valuable lesson from a past friendship? Drop a comment below and let’s chat. Your wisdom could be exactly what another lovely reader needs to hear today!