When is the Right Time to Walk Away From a Relationship?

How to Know When Is the Right Time to Walk Away From a Relationship?

It feels like for so many of us, our time gets totally occupied by those “almost” great loves. You know the ones, gorgeous – the types of relationships that are so incredibly hard to walk away from because it feels *almost* right. We are almost there, we have almost made it, or even… we are almost in love. So, how do we know when is the right time to walk away from a relationship?

The reality is though, that “almost” never becomes a reality.

This is a hard truth that we struggle with and fight, isn’t it? There is a part of us that wishes we could just make it different than it is. Sometimes the years pass by, and suddenly we find ourselves in the situation of wondering how to know if its time to walk away for good.

See, the reality is that sometimes we marry our “almosts.”

At times it is our almost that we settle for. We barter our happiness in exchange for getting what we want – or what we *think* we need – without realizing that sometimes we are meant to give up. Love is not always an equal exchange, babe. While not getting what we want can end up becoming the greatest blessing, the reality is this lesson often needs to be learned the hard way.

Regardless of whether you have spent a few months dating someone or have been married over a decade, there are a few telltale signs that it might be time to give up and walk away.

The thing with love, or at least the kind of love that so many of us lovely ladies are looking for, is that it wont arrive until we make room for it.

Here are five signs it may be time to walk away from your relationship:

1. You have gone from adoring to just tolerating

You might have the belief that no one stays in crazy passionate love forever. Yet, honestly? This is only a lie told by those who want to make themselves feel more comfortable about their own choices.

The truth is that while the honeymoon stage of a relationship can fade, the honeymoon *feelings* can last if the spark between two people is based on more than just that initial first underlying attraction. If you find yourself tolerating quirks, habits, or even the preferences of your partner instead of adoring them for who they are, then this is the first sign that you are falling out of love with them – or that you already have.

2. You find yourself compromising your happiness to make it work

Love requires compromise; there is no doubt about that. But listen closely, babe – it shouldn’t be to the extent that your happiness begins to suffer because of it.

If you find yourself cutting away those activities or even people that you enjoyed before, or that made up a big part of you just to somehow cause the relationship work, then the reality is the relationship is already over.

The kind of relationship that inspires us to become more ourselves and to grow will never actually need us to give up those essential parts of who we are. As adults, we know that we rarely get our way, or at least we tell ourselves that in an attempt to justify why we aren’t happy. In love, we sometimes think that its okay to have to change parts of ourselves to have that relationship.

But here is the truth: In healthy productive relationships, we will never have to change who we are to gain the love of someone else.

3. You look at sex as a chore

We all have different levels and preferences of sexuality. However, if sex with your partner has become as dutiful and routine as emptying the dishwasher – and just as quick – then it is time to start looking at why.

Sex is the barometer for our relationships. As long as we don’t buy into the false norm that “after a certain amount of time none of us care about sex,” then it will keep being an important part of your relationship.

Whether you have been dating for a few months or you are six months post-partum, sex matters! And not just because of climax, but because of the importance of grounding the relationship in physical intimacy. If you find yourself passing on sex more often than not, it probably is time to take a look at why you are physically pushing your partner away.

4. You find yourself crying more often than smiling

It may seem like an obvious one, but it seems that sometimes when we are in relationships so deep, we become more obsessed with making it work than actually stepping back and stopping to consider if we even *should*. No relationship is perfect all the time, but lovely, there should be more good times than bad.

There should be more times that make you smile than induce tears, anxiety, arguments, or even apathy.

If you find yourself playing on your phone, creating Pinterest boards of a fantasy life rather than cuddling watching a movie or jumping in the shower to surprise your lover, it might be time to stop and start considering why. Not every relationship has to last, and in reality, the majority of our relationships dont. But they can teach us something – not just about love, but about ourselves as well.

5. Our romantic relationships mirror where we each are at in our own lives

This is a big one. If we have trouble believing we are deserving of love, then we will end up pursuing someone whom it seems like we are begging for love from.

If we lack self-confidence, then we will attract someone who will make us feel like less than ourselves. Likewise, if we are self-secure and committed to learning about ourselves, then we will draw someone mutually curious and respectful.

Life is all about growing and expanding, so that is the purpose of our relationships too. No one wants a relationship to end, whether it’s because you have been on a few fun dates or because you share children with someone. Often the moment we consider if we should give up and walk away is the moment we already have.

You wont be doomed in love because of one, two, or even three failed relationships. But you will be if you don’t believe that you deserve better.

Because sometimes deciding to give up and walk away is what choosing our happiness is all about.

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