7 Ways Social Media is Ruining Relationships

Social media- Instagram, Facebook, Twitter (and all the rest of them!) are so fast becoming the center of our daily lives, aren’t they? And while there are so many amazing things about being connected, there are also some serious side effects that can creep in and impact not just your self-esteem or career, but your precious relationships too. So, let’s get real for a second, babe. Is social media ruining relationships, and you’re not even aware of it?

Let’s look at 7 ways social media is ruining relationships:

1. It Drags the Past into Your Present

Okay gorgeous, how many times has this happened? You get a friend request, a comment, or a random message from an old friend, a colleague, or- yep- an ex. The thing with social media is that it has almost zero boundaries when it comes to people from your past finding you. While a little trip down memory lane can be sweet, it can also invite unwanted emotions or even temptations back into your life.

My theory? The past is best left in the past for a reason. If certain people (especially ex-partners!) aren’t in your physical life today, there’s a good reason for that, lovely. Be so careful with who you let back in, and never feel obligated to accept a request just because they were once part of your story.

2. It Blurs All the Important Boundaries

When you open the doors of your life to the world, you suddenly have so much more ground to cover, and honestly, it can be exhausting! There’s this weird, unspoken rule on social media that if you don’t accept someone’s request, you’re offending them. Rubbish! This is your personal life we’re talking about, and just because the rest of the world decides to overshare doesn’t mean you have to.

Does that woman your man works with really need to be his Facebook friend? Maybe, maybe not- but that’s a conversation for you two to have. It’s so important to set clear boundaries with your partner about who you both decide to invite into your private digital world.

3. It Turns You into a Comparison Queen

Isn’t it crazy how our self-esteem can take a massive hit when our selfie doesn’t get 349 “likes”? Especially when we feel like we compromised our standards a little, maybe showing a bit more skin, just for the validation. Let’s put this all into perspective, ladies: what you see on someone’s Instagram is not their real life. It’s their highlight reel.

Don’t be fooled by the perfect filters and the #blessed hashtags. So many people are genuinely happy and successful without advertising it to the world for approval. Just because another woman has a different body shape doesn’t make you any less beautiful. You are a masterpiece, remember that.

4. It Feeds Insecurity, Mistrust, and Paranoia

This sounds so dramatic, but it’s so true! Often, it starts as a tiny little fear that grows and grows as we get more obsessed with social media. Your relationship with your man should not be centered around social media. You shouldn’t have to check his profile every 5 minutes or secretly stalk his followers to see if something fishy is going on. If social media is starting to control your thoughts and send you a little cray cray, it’s time to step back and take a much-needed break.

5. It Becomes an Unhealthy Addiction

Guilty? How many of us have reached for our phone first thing in the morning, even before a good morning kiss? Or scrolled through our feed while having dinner with our amazing guy? Honestly, there should be a rule- no phones during meals or quality time! We lived without it for thousands of years and, lets be honest, we communicated so much better. Let’s not lose that art. Put the phones down and actually talk to each other like the good old days!

6. It Steals Your Precious One-on-One Time

I am a total stickler for spending quality time with my man, so we both try to ban our phones and make each other the priority- not some random person’s food selfie! It’s wild how much of our time gets eaten up by just trying to keep up with everything online. While social media might be vital for your career, babe, it can’t become the sole focus of your day. Don’t forget to nurture the real, tangible things in your life that matter most. What are your rules for phone-free time? Share your tips in the comments- you might just inspire another couple!

7. It Encourages Oversharing (and Unwanted Opinions)

Here’s the deal- the more people you open up your life to, the more unwanted opinions you’re going to get on how you should be living it. Social media gives us this silent permission to overshare, becuase we know it’ll generate attention or sympathy, which makes us feel validated.

But who you are is so important, and your worth is absolutely not based on the opinions of strangers. Your private life shouldn’t be judged by people who hold no real space in your world. It’s not about quitting social media entirely, but it is about not losing perspective on what truly matters.

We Want to Hear From You!

Has social media affected your relationship? Share your story in the comments below- your experience might be the one thing another woman needs to read today. Let’s support each other!


Comments

M.R.:

I absolutely do and unfortunately it is not my presence on social media but rather my wife’s. Always seems that the twitter crew is more important than her husband and kids. We are at a loss for what to do and I fear it is the beginning of the end.

Jonas:

Good article.
I’m currently ruining my relationship with my partner as I have a few times made comments online that she has seen that she has taken as inappropriate. And when she points out the problems I often can see it myself but then the damage is already done.
I hate the fact that it so easy to just type something up to someone without actually thinking things through.
Often what I have thought sounds good in my head might not sound so good once it typed down online.
Like the last thing that got me intro trouble was when I was thinking I was going to make a dumb joke. This woman that makes youtube videos I watch at times had a new haircut and I commented “great hair, wish I could take you out for coffee” which I did not really mean. I thought that its a silly, funny comment as no one would actually think that just because someone has a new hair cut. Well, my partner found that comment and now things are not that great and I understand how wrong it is to write something like that. Probably made me sound creepy too.

Would I ever had said something like that in real life? No, so why does it slip through stuff like that online? I’m so tired of myself for messing things up online and hurting my partner in the process because I obviously don’t want to do that.

Lori Gomez:

Yes I feel as though I have lost my daughter to social media. Our relationship has decayed little by little beginning seven years ago when she got to where you could not see her that her phone was not in her right hand. It’s pretty much been that way ever since. She will do a little sweet things for me out of duty but she has no interest in nurturing our relationship anymore. She’s completely satisfied by what she gets on the Internet. I think it’s very unhealthy and I think she craves and thrives on social attention rather than real and personal relationships that should matter. My goodness, I loved my mother so much and she and I had a warm fun relationship that I crave to have with My Daughter too – But strangers on Facebook are spending all of that time with her and I will be gone soon because I have a chronic illness that is getting really bad.

Savannah Salazar:

My guy and I have been together for almost 8 years, and most of that was great. I never use to worry about his social media activity before our break. We separated for a year, both dated other people and though I have never cared much for social media, sometimes I feel like he cares about it more than me. It’s not the fact that he uses it, it’s the fact that he now has all these girls he checks out, liking their photos and is even friends with his exes. It bothers me, I’ve tried expressing that. Instead I notice he hides what he’s doing on his phone, at times I notice he is texting or looking at things he doesn’t want me to see. Then on top of that, he changed his passwords on all his accounts which is fine, their his accounts. My thought on this though, is why? Why feel the need to keep me from seeing what he’s up to, or messaging or whatever the case, if its nothing for me to worry about? I guess this bothers me so much because I don’t have my exes, and I don’t use social media as much as he does. He had my emails, my passwords to everything. He doesn’t ever acknowledge anything I post, but is liking these other females. It makes me feel very insecure, like its what he wishes I looked like, and like I’m not attractive to him or something. I don’t look like these Instagram models, or like his high school girlfriends. He once told me he didn’t want me to get skinny again and look all good because it will attract male attention. Yet he pays more attention to his phone and social media, checking other females out, never me and secretly mutes his volume when there is no reason to. So I can’t help but to feel Insecure or like he’s hiding something from me and it is slowly breaking my heart and I am feeling depressed. He gets defensive and upset when I bring it up, and makes me feel like I’m crazy and making it up, but I feel the vibes he let’s off, my gut feels that I’m being kept out for a reason. I know he loves me, but I don’t know what to do anymore.

Sophia:

I completely agree. I think it’s really sad how much social media has changed the way people interact and it’s even almost completely destroyed my relationship with my partner. For the first half of my relationship with my boyfriend, he was liking and following women who are practically naked. It eventually led to him subscribing to onlyfans and sending messages/money to other women behind my back. Once I found out, I was heartbroken and felt like my relationship was destroyed. We decided to try to work things out and both got rid of Instagram but I’m still struggling to heal from all the damage it has caused.

Anon:

The internet has made love impossible period. Between all the pornography shoved down our throats and the multiple ways of committing infidelity there is no room for trust anymore. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught my son’s father saying and doing inappropriate things online with women that eventually evolved into our real lives. I’ve cut out social media.

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about the author

Camille Laurent

Camille Laurent is a love mentor and communication expert who helps couples and singles create deeper, more meaningful connections. With training in Gottman Method couples therapy and nonviolent communication, Camille brings research-backed insights to the art of love. She believes that great relationships aren't about finding a perfect person-they're about two imperfect people learning to communicate, compromise, and grow together. Camille's writing explores everything from navigating conflict to keeping the spark alive, always with practical advice women can implement immediately.

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