How to Bring Back the Honeymoon Phase in Your Relationship Now

Where Did the Magic Go, Lovely?

Let’s be real for a second, ladies. I have seen so many relationships fall apart simply because they lost that electric spark. But here is the truth that might surprise you – in most cases, the spark was just the first thing to pack its bags, but it isn’t actually what broke the relationship. It is everything else that followed soon after that caused the real damage.

I am still a newlywed, married for six months now, and let me tell you, the honeymoon phase is spectacular. But here is the kicker: I have been in this so-called honeymoon phase for 4 and a half years.

You might be asking, “How is that even possible?” or thinking, “Oh you, your relationship has only just begun, of course you’re still in that phase.” But the truth is, we work for it. Both of us being in the military, our relationship has been put to the ultimate test time and time again, yet it is stronger than ever.

We don’t just hope the spark stays; we feed the fire. And you can too, you.

Where Are You Pouring Your Energy?

What I would like you to think about, is how much energy do you put into the relationship itself?

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not talking about house chores, looking after the children, or all that external fluff that keeps a household running. I am asking purely about you and your partner – your lover, your husband, your wife, whoever that special soul is for you. The energy I’m talking about is love, sexuality, and romance.

Being sensual shouldn’t feel like a chore on your to-do list or a task that gets repeated mechanically the next day. It should be the fun part!

Think back to the beginning. What made you attracted to your partner in the first place? It doesn’t have to be purely physical. It could be a little quirk or an inherent trait that makes your heart skip a beat.

Try to remember things like:

• The specific sound of my husband’s laugh that makes me smile…
• The cute dimple on the side of my girlfriend’s face that makes me want to kiss her…
• His kind heart that makes me feel safe and protected…

Do you remember that feeling? I want you to tap into that energy, that “want” and that “lust.” Find that confidence you had at the beginning of your relationship and start showing it again. You still have it in you, you.

Quick question for you you souls: What is the one trait your partner has that still gives you butterflies? Drop it in the comments below – let’s remind ourselves why we fell in love!

It’s Not About Being Perfect

I’m not asking you to dress up in a Playboy outfit every day to impress them (though let’s be honest, they probably wouldn’t have any complaints if you did!). The simplest things can do a lot for a relationship.

This is for you. It’s about you helping your relationship become rock solid. It isn’t just to impress your partner; it’s to make them feel appreciated. Once you start making them feel appreciated, it creates a beautiful ripple effect. The essence inside you, all that energy that makes you feel sexy, confident and beautiful? It is already there, waiting to be unleashed.

The Dinner Table Connection

Let’s look at a practical example. Think about how you and your partner eat meals or dinner together. Be honest with me here.

Ask yourself:

• Do you sit at opposite ends of the table with the kids acting as a buffer in the middle?
• Do you sit in front of the television with your eyes glued to the screen, seated at opposite ends of the sofa?
• Do you not eat together at all because of crazy work schedules?
• Do you study or work while you shovel food into your mouth?

These are all simple examples of completely being unaware that you are ignoring each other. It may seem like a small thing to a lot of people, but connecting while eating is one of the greatest (and easiest!) ways to show appreciation and strengthen a relationship.

Why? Because humans need to eat. We all enjoy food and sitting down with our favorite meal. Now, add your other half who is sharing that moment with you. You have now created a bubble of happiness. Eye contact, smiling, and sharing an intimate meal together causes dopamine to release into the body, which then releases the big ‘O’ – oxytocin (the bonding hormone).

Navigating the Seasons of Love

Young couples in love, or those in new relationships, are so sensual and intimate and bonded because they are giving themselves permission to do all of this. They aren’t worried about the laundry yet!

In some cases relationships go through the honeymoon phase, then might come a marriage and a honeymoon, which soon after the so-called honeymoon phase may end.

Now, new struggles arise. Money might be tight as you’ve just had an amazing wedding. Your body is changing, hormones are running rampant, and your relationship might get put on the back burner.

Then, once the baby arrives, there is a crying life that needs your absolute attention – and the relationship may suffer a little bit more. When you do find time, do you give yourself permission to be intimate? Maybe family visits all the time, and you don’t think you can find the time or the right place.

My tip? If you find yourselves alone, with any time at all, use it to the best of your abilities. Seize the moment, ladies!

Let yourself just fall into the moment, be happy with where you are in your current situation and let go of reality.

The thought of being caught always makes it more risky and exciting, doesn’t it? When you try to let go of control, that is when your inner energy comes out and takes over. You need this release. Your body wants this release.

Your Assignment for Tonight

Tonight, I recommend having dinner together. Sit on the couch side-by-side, touching. Turn the volume of the television down to a low hum so it’s just background noise, and start making eye contact.

Smile more. I bet you have a beautiful smile that your partner loves to see.

Here is a little secret tip: Squeeze your pelvic floor, as if you’re trying to hold yourself from going to the bathroom. Do this a few times and tell your partner quietly what you’re doing and how it makes you feel. Watch their reaction!

Now, say your favorite thing about them and how it makes you feel, and what it makes you want to do to them. You and your partner own the moment. Make the most of it. If you don’t think you have time, then make time.

I hope you enjoy your night and your extended honeymoon phase, because believe me, it’s not just a phase – it’s a lifestyle!