Chaotic Holidays? Use a Self-Love Approach to Social Settings

You know the scene all too well, don’t you friend? You are sitting on the couch, wedged between your wrestling nephews and that one cousin you are politically at odds with, wondering just how to slip into the bustling conversation without feeling awkward.

The football game on the TV is blaring – honestly, does it have to be that loud? – and everyone talks loudly over it. The bright overhead lights are starting to irritate you, giving you that familiar headache, so you get up, looking for a softer lamp to turn on. But of course, there are none.

Wandering towards the kitchen, you can practically feel the unspoken tension between your aunt and your grandfather, who are standing at opposite sides of the room. You notice your mother is sitting alone, staring at her phone again. It feels heavy, doesn’t it?

So, you find yourself outside.

Under the stars and in the bitter wind, you finally feel some peace. But lovely, you also feel a deep sadness for the way you can’t seem to just “enjoy” this experience like everyone else. It’s so intense!

You are tired, and you cant wait to be home with a warm cup of tea.

How much longer before your obligation to them is enough?

You wish you could feel happier.

It’s that time of year when we prioritize gatherings – holidays, parties, on and on. But what happens when the stimulation of hanging out is just too much for your system?

Maybe you are introverted, or a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Perhaps, like me, you are both? This means something that’s fun for many others could really tax you, just like the chaotic scene above.

You have to psych yourself up before a social event. And when it’s over, you need serious alone time to recover. But tomorrow, everyone expects you to join the shopping excursion. You know the crowds of people, manufactured perfume scents, and loud music is going to wear on your nerves even more…

So do you hide in a hole?

It would be easy to find reasons to bow out of events, wouldn’t it? You could skip the myriad of cookie swaps with the girls, office affairs, and family evenings.

Just make up some stories. After all, you are training your cat to retrieve your slippers, and that could take a while. Plus, you’ve actually been transferred to the French West Indies for the next three months. Salut!

Except, deep down, you know you are actually just going to curl up with a book and miss “the happiness” everyone else seems to be experiencing.

Sometimes, we need different things, and that is okay.

It’s taken some years of experimentation, but I have found some great ways to survive social settings without losing my mind. These are ways you can be gentle with yourself, friend, and get what you need. It’s okay that you have different needs than others!

Here are some ideas on how to use a self-love approach to social settings:

1. Honor Yourself

So you are more sensitive than others – that is awesome!! You quite possibly are more empathetic and intuitive than most people in the room. You might also connect easily with animals (which is the best, right?). I want you to celebrate that!

You can say something aloud like, “I honor myself for the intensity I experience! It’s a great gift! I love my sensitivity.” When you honor yourself, you are staying turned on to who you are, at your core. Dont let anyone make you feel small for feeling deeply.

2. Practice Creative Mindfulness

Did you know you can meditate on anything? Even in a loud room?

For instance, sometimes we use food as an escape, a distraction. But if we implement mindfulness, that bite of an olive can be a way to ground us back to the Earth. Focus on the texture, the taste.

You can also focus on any part of your body. When you start to feel taxed or anxious, see if you can focus all your attention on your left elbow, or your right big toe. It sounds silly, but it works!

Flexing your yoni muscles (i.e. Kegels) is another excellent way to bring your focus inward and feel that your body is safe! It’s also wicked fun and nobody knows you’re doing it.

In an environment of overstimulation, creative mindfulness is a true lifesaver.

3. Find Your Snowflake Shield

We are all special like snowflakes, right? So, we naturally have different ways to protect our energetic body.

I recently envisioned my body as a tree trunk. Nothing could get past the bark that encased me, and I was totally protected from the energetic stuff of others. It felt so secure.

There are so many ways to engage with energetic protection:

• You could take a bath in white or golden light visualization before you go out.
• Seep in that light while you encounter others.
• Maybe you involve a nature element or animal guide to walk with you.

Play around to discover what works best for your special Snowflake Shield!

So you can try these things out, and learn other methods for grounding, but sometimes there will be situations where you just need to leave. And that is valid.

Too much stimulation is too much.

At the end of the day, it’s okay to draw boundaries about what you encounter. How you spend your energy is your choice, lovely!

If a friend or family member ever pressures you to stay at a place you would rather leave, you have an opportunity to stand for what you need. It might feel scary, but you can do it.

Others might not get you, but you can practice self-love by knowing when over-stimulation is enough for you. Because maybe you’d rather just be home, now that your cat knows how to fetch your slippers!