What to Do When You’re Feeling Insecure

Hey you, let’s have a real chat. Feeling insecure is totally normal – it’s part of what makes us human. It’s how we humble ourselvs, after all. But sometimes, doesn’t it feel like that insecurity takes on a life of its own? It whispers nasty little things, making us feel so uneasy in our own beautiful skin. We start second-guessing every amazing thing we’ve achieved, we can’t take a simple compliment, and we get defensive over the smallest things.

Some people overcompensate for it, you know? They become bullies or always need to be the center of attention. In one wild case, a football coach actually got rid of his best players just because he felt insecure. See, you? It happens to everyone. We all have that one thing that makes us feel a little wobbly. And that’s okay. The fact that you’re here, reading this, means you’re ready to face it head-on, and that’s incredibly brave.

Here are 6 tips to try the next time you catch yourself feeling insecure:

1. Admit It, Lovely

To fix any problem, you first have to look it in the eye and say, “I see you.” The first, most powerful step to quieting your insecurity is admitting that your “I’m fine” armor has a few cracks. Gather up your courage and tell a close friend or a family member you trust. Just saying it out loud can make it feel so much smaller.

You don’t have to shout your insecurities from the rooftops, but try to trust someone to listen without judgment. And hey, if they use it against you? Then they’ve just done you a massive favor by showing you they don’t belong in your incredible inner circle. You deserve a support system that lifts you up, always. Have you ever shared a vulnerability with a friend? Let us know in the comments how it felt – your story could be the light someone else needs to see.

2. Hush That Inner Critic

Ugh, that inner voice. Insecurity has a microphone, and it loves an audience of one. Your biggest mission, should you choose to accept it, is to hush that snarky voice. This inner critic usually builds its stage in our childhood or during painful moments when we were most vulnerable. For years, we carry its paralyzing thoughts – “You’re not good enough,” “You’ll never be that successful,” “You’re not pretty enough.” Sound familiar?

But here’s the secret to silencing that voice: you have to give it the mic, just for a second. Grab a journal and write down all those negative thoughts. Then, try to connect them to specific moments in your past. Once you see where they come from, respond to them with kindness, just like you would to a friend who’s being way too hard on herself. Ask yourself how this critic has been holding you back, and then, my lovely, go do the *exact* thing it tells you you can’t.

3. Avoid The Vibe-Killers

Sometimes, your inner critic gets a little help from the outside world. Take a look at the people you spend time with. Do they make you feel amazing, or do they constantly bring you down? It’s time to protect your energy, you. Surround yourself with people who see your magic and reflect it back to you. For the same reason, you might need a break from certain things. Be mindful of how you feel when you avoid social media – it’s a highlight reel, afterall, and comparison is the thief of joy. Maybe put down the celebrity magazines for a bit, too. Anything that triggers that feeling of self-pity has got to go.

4. Travel and Expand Your World

So much of our insecurity can be tied to our bodies, right? We feel like we don’t fit the mold and just want to punch the mirror. One of the best ways to break free from this trap of physical comparison is to travel. Go somewhere you’ve never been before.

When you’re out in the world, you’ll meet so many different kinds of people, with a rich diversity of beauty you’ve only ever seen on a screen. You’ll see your own narrow ideas of beauty completely shatter and change. It will hit you right in the heart: Beauty is subjective, and you do not need to conform to anyone’s standards but your own. Your only job is to be the best, most vibrant version of yourself.

5. Imagine Your Best Self

Are you ever stuck in a loop of jealousy or worry, especially about your relationships? There’s a powerful technique for that. Psychology Today talks about a method called mental contrasting. It’s simpler than it sounds, I promise! First, you vividly picture yourself achieving your goal – in this case, feeling totally secure and confident. Feel all the amazing emotions that come with that vision.

Next, you think about the real obstacles that stand in your way. What triggers your insecurity? Then you make a plan to navigate those roadblocks. Often, you’ll find the best strategy is to bring yourself back to the present moment. Chase away those negative feelings by being mindful and grateful for what’s right in front of you, right now.

6. Accept Your Humanness

Let’s get one thing straight, you: insecurity is proof that you are human. We aren’t perfect, divine beings who are 100 percent secure all the time. Total fearlessness is a myth. You will have moments of fear, doubt, and insecurity for the rest of your life. And that is perfectly okay. The goal isn’t to eliminate insecurity completely – it’s about learning to live a full, beautiful life alongside it, without letting it drive. The trick is simply to believe that you can.

We Want to Hear From You!

Your journey is unique and powerful. Which of these tips resonated with you the most? Share your story in the comments below – your experience might be the exact thing another woman needs to hear today. Let’s build a community of support and lift each other up!