If Only My Younger Self Knew These 15 Things, Life Would’ve Been So Much Easier

Hey Gorgeous, Let’s Get Real About Life and Love

Life can feel like a maze sometimes, right ladies? We spend so much time worrying about where we’re going that we forget to check in on how we’re actually feeling along the way. I want to share some hard-earned wisdoms that might just change the way you navigate your world. Grab a cup of tea (or wine, I wont judge!), settle in, and let’s talk heart-to-heart.

These are the reminders I wish someone had told me sooner. Hopefully, they help you find your footing a little faster, babe.

1. Very few people are really thinking about you.

I know, it sounds harsh at first, but hear me out. We walk around feeling like there’s a spotlight on our every mistake, wondering what “they” will say. But the truth? What others see in you is largely contingent upon the way they look at themselves.

Most people are too consumed with their own insecurities to nitpick yours. In time, you’ll learn this is a total freedom and not a liability. It means you can dance like nobody is watching – because usually, they aren’t.

2. Even though you can take it, you don’t have to keep putting up with people who break you down.

Just because you are strong enough to carry the weight of someone else’s negativity doesn’t mean it’s your job to do so. We often confuse endurance with love, but they aren’t the same thing, lovely. It is never too late to change your relations with another person.

You need to protect your peace. Sometimes being strong looks like walking away. Have you ever stayed too long just because you thought you could handle it? I’d love to hear your experience in the comments – let’s support each other in setting boundaries.

3. Take the time to learn what you love, instead of doing what you think will make you lovable.

This is a big one. When you’re so busy being what you think everyone else wants from you, you don’t have the capacity to figure out who you actually are. You become a reflection of their desires rather than the protagonist of your own story.

Stop performing, babe. Start exploring. What lights you up when no one is looking?

4. Complicated people will always be detoured while they’re on their way to loving you.

We often romanticize the “complicated” genius or the brooding artist, thinking we can be the one to decode them. But honestly? Complicated people get distracted by the very things that complicate them. Being complicated is overrated; it’s much more rewarding to focus your efforts on keeping things simple. Love shouldn’t be a puzzle you have to solve every single day.

5. You can’t save anyone.

Oh, the savior complex. We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Trying to fix him, fix her, fix the whole family. But you have to stay rooted in your own life instead of wasting your precious time and energy being consumed by the desire to weed other people’s gardens.

Your garden needs water too, gorgeous. Tend to your own blooms first.

6. Stop trying to impress people you don’t like.

Why do we do this? We bend over backwards for people who wouldn’t cross the street for us. Recognize that when they say you shouldn’t meet your heroes, it’s because it takes them off a pedestal. But it also serves as a powerful reminder that your heroes are human and by virtue of which, flawed ones.

Save that energy for the people who actually make your soul smile.

7. To truly fit in, you have to be okay with standing out.

Authenticity is magnetic, but it requires bravery. Find comfort in being on your own for awhile. You have no reason to feel lonely if you’re in good company when you’re alone. When you like who you are, solitude feels like a luxury, not a punishment.

8. Foster community over competition.

Society loves to pit women against each other, but we don’t have to play that game. When you share your resources, skills, and tactics with others, you’re growing the larger field in which you work. Everyone starts at the beginning, and even if you didn’t have support when you started, you can now choose to be the support for someone else’s beginning.

Let’s create a ripple effect right now: Tag a woman who inspires you or share a small win in the comments below. We are cheering for you!

9. Learn how to stay.

You already know how to run when things get difficult. That’s easy. You know how to avoid intimacy and hide your vulnerability. But these things aren’t skills, they’re protective mechanisms. You may never get hurt, but you’ll never experience love this way either.

So learn how to stay – inside your body, within your mind, and as a part of a relationship. This skill will come in handy on so many levels. It’s scary, I know, but its where the magic happens.

10. Don’t put people on a pedestal.

The ones actually worthy of your attention and admiration are often too humble or quiet for you to pay attention to them initially. The ones that boast and brag and tell you all about it aren’t busy enough doing their work. The more “successful” you get, the more you realize that the top looks a lot like a bunch of regular human beings trying their best.

11. Hurt people hurt people.

This is a mantra for empathy, but also for reality. The pain we inflict upon others is usually equivalent to the pain we experience ourselves. In fact, we don’t even realize half the time we’re perpetuating suffering because we’re so consumed with our own. This doesn’t make it okay – absolutely not – but it does make it normal and something we all experience at some point or another.

12. Your parents aren’t perfect.

This is a tough pill to swallow for some, but liberating for others. You can still love them while choosing not to be like them. It’s important to note that these two concepts are not mutually exclusive. The sooner you come to learn this, the easier your life and relationships will be (and this includes your relationships with them).

Have you struggled to separate your identity from your parents’ expectations? You aren’t alone, babe.

13. Jealousy isn’t seductive.

Possessiveness isn’t a marker of adoration, no matter what the movies say. Don’t confuse fragments of attention to signify greater things to come. When you’re only getting scraps of love, you’re still missing out on someone who feeds you the main course. Only that kind of love is nourishing enough to sustain you.

14. If someone only loves you when you’re walking out of their life…

…then they’re not in love with you as much as they’re in love with the idea of you leaving. It’s a control thing, not a heart thing. But that also begs the question: why aren’t you seeking a love that wants you to stay?

As cliche as it sounds, it’s really crucial to make this distinction as soon as you can: love isn’t a destination, it’s a journey. It’s not something you arrive at or acquire. It’s something you run with and work on every day. It’s something you make a habit of building, feeding, and nourishing. And it’s something that will wilt and wane if you don’t.

15. If it’s not a clear yes, it’s a no.

Trust your gut, lovely. This applies to everything from jobs to relationships to hobbies to activities. Spend your energy and time well. If you don’t love it, don’t keep it around longer than it needs to be.

Sure, there will be a lot of work you won’t particularly love, but if it’s part of a greater goal you’ll just have to put it in perspective and work through it. Yet if you don’t love it and you’re not too keen on the end goal either, let it go.

There will no doubt be something else on its way just waiting for you to fall in love with it. So trust me, make the space.